Partners
Reflection
April 2016
The room's lighting was mellow and soft and the rustic wooden bed frame hinted at a ski lodge or little B&B. The only sounds in that instant were the soft splashing of my wife in the bathtub. We were alone, just husband and wife. But this was no winter vacation.
"Another one is coming," Agata said. I bent over and applied counter-pressure to her lower back. "Lower," she said, "and father apart." I obliged.
My wife gave birth to our second child on Saturday morning at 1:55 AM. For much of that time we were alone in our little room at the Austin Area Birthing Center. There were no nurses running in and out frantically, no harsh fluorescent flicker, no beeps from machines. I couldn't help but think about how peaceful it was, about how it felt like we were doing this whole thing right, as it was meant to be done. We were partners. Granted, she was doing most of the work, but I was there beside her, helping every step of the way, not stuck out in some cold waiting room. We didn't have to induce her labor because the doctor had a plane to catch in the morning, or stay in a unfamiliar place for two days while they checked her vitals every 3 hours. When it came time to push, I rang a little doorbell, and the midwife came in to help us the rest of the way.
Cedine Agnieszka Gardner was born 7 pounds, 5 ounces. Agata had called the midwife at 11:45 PM to tell her that she was going into labor, and Cedine was out two hours later. All in all we were very lucky: no complications and just a couple little stitches. We left the birthing center before 8 AM after chowing down on the Kerby Lane breakfast my mom had brought us. We drove back to Kyle, introduced Cedine to her brother, grandfather, and aunts, and finally got some rest.
I remember feeling a little helpless when Ira was a newborn. We husbands can only really do so much in the beginning. We can change a diaper, fetch another glass of water (and another, and another), but we can't feed the baby or pacify her to sleep. We can't provide for her most basic need. This time around I'll have my hands full with Ira and taking over the household stuff (and still fetching water). But I was never pregnant, despite the inclusive "we" I used when announcing the pregnancy or describing the due date. The feeling of those moments alone in the birthing center crystallized our partnership for me: different roles, different people, but laboring together. She and I do well in sharing the burden of building life, and I will be forever grateful that I was able to experience the culmination of that partnership two nights ago, and I will always remember it when I look into Cedine's dark (blue?) eyes. We are one happy little family of four.
